This is more common than you might think – and understandably frustrating. Some children are happy to sit for a wee, but not a poo. Often they’ll choose to do a poo in their pants instead.

Here are a few things to consider:

• Your child may be looking for privacy. Some children prefer to go off into another room or hide behind furniture. Try offering them some quiet, private time on the potty or toilet.
• Pooing might feel uncomfortable for them, especially if they’re a bit constipated. This can lead them to want to stand up instead, which gives them a feeling of control. If poos seem hard or painful, speak to your GP or pharmacist about a suitable softener.
• It could also be a learned behaviour – in their mind, wees go in the toilet, but poos go in pants.

Try using videos like ‘Tom’s Toilet Triumph’ or a personalised social story to help them understand where poos go. These can be really effective tools for many children.

It’s really common for children not to be bothered by being wet – you’re not alone here! If they were bothered, toilet training might be a whole lot easier. The first step is helping your child understand the difference between wet and dry:

• You can make it a game – show them a pair of dry pants and a pair of wet ones and help them feel and talk about the difference.
• Keep the focus on praising dry pants.
• If they have an accident, respond calmly and reinforce the message: “wees go in the toilet or potty.”
• Praise them when their pants are dry – get them to check with you and celebrate
  those moments!

We have some great resources around teaching wet/dry, clean/dirty etc on Twinkl.

No. Children with delays in speech or mobility are successfully toilet trained every day. You may need to adjust your approach – for example using Makaton signs, picture cards or physical support to sit – but the goal is absolutely achievable.

What do I do if my child refuses to sit on the toilet to do a poo?Yes. It’s very common to feel stuck, and it usually means the timing or approach wasn’t quite right for your child at that stage. Going back to the step that matches where your child is now, and making sure everyone involved is following the same approach, can make a big difference. Our Toilet Training Bootcamp is specifically for families in this situation.

Yes. When the nappy comes off, children feel wetness properly for the first time. This often leads to a start-stop pattern of frequent small wees while the child gets used to the different sensations. Most children improve noticeably within a few days. We’d encourage you to stick with it rather than returning to nappies.

No. We never say never and our programme is adaptable for all children regardless of their age. There may be different challenges when toilet training older children, but we can offer lots of advice and support. Giving children every opportunity to reach their full potential is important.

Consistency is key to success. Whoever is caring for your child – whether that’s nursery staff, school, a childminder, or a relative – needs to follow the same approach that’s happening at home.

It’s really helpful if everyone understands DSUK’s 4-step toilet training programme #pants4school and the reasons behind it. That way, they can support your child in the same way, every day.

There’s detailed guidance on toilet training for professionals available on the DSUK website, and we encourage nurseries and schools to look. Families can also direct settings to Twinkl, where there are a number of useful DSUK resources available.