Dear future sisters

I have only just been born and you are not even a twinkle. I have just had a life-saving operation to correct my Duodenal Atresia but there are complications. Mummy and Daddy have just found out that I have Down syndrome in a very unceremonious way, and they are in shock.

Mummy and Daddy had wanted children so much but after an ectopic pregnancy, nothing worked so they had IVF. They were delighted when it worked first time. Mummy’s pregnancy was blissful, apart from the sickness every day. They were so relieved when I was born safely that they gave me every single one of the beautiful names they had chosen.

They will need time to adjust to my diagnosis, before they will realise I am such a wonderful little person that I would make a fabulous sister for someone, one day. But nature will disappoint them, and the next five cycles of IVF will be unsuccessful.

They will opt, with excitement, for adoption. They will explain to the social workers that they are sure that I will make a kind and loving big sister. At panel, they will need to reassure everyone that my sisters will receive plenty of time and attention. That you will not be expected to care for me later in life. Because of me, they will not worry about your facial birthmark, genetic condition, or spinal condition. They will want you as you are, just as they did me. They will know how to massage your feet and your leg. They have already learnt Makaton sign language and how to encourage delayed speech. They will embolden you, as they do me, to be the best that you can be.
I promise you now that I will be the first to bond with you, and I will help you learn to form strong attachments for the first time in your life. I will be the one to communicate with you without words, because I have an emotional sixth sense. I will help you to learn to speak and walk. I will help Mummy and Daddy to look after you when you are small and helpless. I will bring you toys and let you take mine. I will feel no jealousy when you run faster, write more neatly, or learn to tie shoelaces before I do – I will just celebrate for you and cheer louder than anyone. I will shout for you at sports day, applaud at your dance showcase and piano recitals. I will love you, always.

In turn, you will be my advocates and help others to understand what I say and need. You will want to help me so genuinely that you will feel a little sad when I choose to be independent. There will be an abundance of sisterly love in our house. Love will be everywhere.
We are going to make a great team!

Yours,
Leila

Written by Lisa, Education Advisor, mum to Leila