Dear future mama

So apparently you drew the short straw. The influx of ‘I’m sorrys’ and ‘oh what a shame’ followed by looks of sorrow and sadness – not the ‘congratulations’ you were hoping for. The women in your ante natal group don’t know how you feel… your friends with ‘normal’ children don’t know how you feel…you don’t really even/ know how you feel…

You’re upset, you can’t stop crying- the ugly kind with all the snot… It’s not fair, why me? What did I do wrong?

Stop crying, go take a shower and stop moping around feeling sorry for yourself- girl they don’t call us #theluckyfew for nothing!!
Just know this….

Nobody is going to know how you feel except the new best mum friends you’re about to meet who are on the same journey-they get it, all of it. You’ll laugh, cry, celebrate and whinge to each other about how many times in the day you’ve had to stop your child from trying to dip their hand in the toilet or climb the stair gate or even borrow Mama’s best lipstick! It won’t just be them- there’s an army of parents waiting to support you, cheer you on and share your journey.

You’re going to change as a person. You’re going to become some kind of lioness…(the facial hair is just hormones but don’t worry – it adds to the image!) You’ll be so fiercely protective of this bundle of joy that you will almost feel that you’ve physically got taller as you strut your mum thing and wipe the floor with anyone that dares to challenge your motherly knowledge and instincts about what your child needs and deserves.

Your family will learn some important lessons- ones that can only be learnt by experiencing a fierce, protective love of their sibling or grandchild for example. They will become better, more rounded, inclusive, and understanding people. They will embrace difference in a way that can’t be taught and will advocate for your bundle for the rest of their lives… just watch!

You’ll find yourself knowing the name of every member of staff in your local supermarket because everyone is drawn to your little one. You’ll get smiles from every direction, you’ll get people stop for a chat about their precious homie with an extra chromie (sounds like a nightmare if you’re an introvert, I know!) but you will get positivity from all angles, and it will be because your child radiates something rare and special that not many others have.

Then there’ll be that small person themselves. That little human that you cried all those tears over. That you couldn’t even picture in your mind. That you genuinely didn’t know if you wanted or could cope with. They will make you smile every single day. Make you cry with tears of laughter… and frustration at times too! They’ll show you life from a different perspective and make you realise what’s important, love- and you’ll get it in abundance.

So don’t be sad, don’t be scared, start getting excited because the best adventure you’ll ever go on is fast approaching- get those big girl knickers on and do your mum thing- you’ll be great!

Yours,
Cherry

Teaching Assistant and mum to Daisy